[my confession] i cleaned out my closet

yesterday, i posted a short review on anne jackson’s new book permission to speak freely.the book’s central theme is that we’ve lost our way in the church in not allowing for a place of sanctuary, a place to share our  confessions and brokenness, instead becoming a place of shame and fear.

i think anne’s right. especially for church leaders. until recently, i believed that being a leader meant hiding my weaknesses, ignoring my insecurities and proving to my team that leaders have it all together.

this is not true. of course, it would be great if leaders could always demonstrate confidence and a well-balanced life, and joy in ministry. but that’s not real, and most days not what it feels like to lead. and so, i’m grateful for anne jackson’s voice encouraging us, the church leaders, to lead by sharing both our broken and redemptive story.

and so, my own sort of personal confession. a few months ago, i did something crazy. and wild. i cleaned out my closet. and by “cleaned” i mean i got rid of every piece of clothing that hung in my closet. because i worry a lot about what people think of me. and i worry that they think i’m not good enough. and i like to balance those fears with a nice healthy dose of image management.

and clothes were my way of managing my image. different clothes for different occasions. always choosing the right clothes so that people thought the way i wanted them to think about me.

that was up until recently when i realized all of this, and decided that i no longer wanted to choose clothes based on fear, i wanted to chose clothes that made me feel beautiful, and comfortable, and were just right for me. no one else, but me. so i cleaned out my closet, donated 6 large bags to goodwill, and sold 6 large bags to a local thrift store (12 bags is a lot of fear and insecurity!).  and i started over. bought a small amount of new clothes one piece at a time, only things i absolutely loved and that make me feel truly like me. i bought some fancy new hangers, and the picture above is the result of my newly-made-over-closet. because, i want to lead with a spirit of freedom, and honesty.

what about you? what’s your own personal confession? and how can we lead well by sharing both our brokenness and healing?


2 responses to this post.

  1. I absolutely love your transparency in this post my friend! I am so proud of you for stepping out of that comfort zone!
    Love and Hugs!


  2. Loved this post! Thanks for your honesty!


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